mostly I am angry, my fist wrapped around the throat
of a bottle, or a monster, or just some asshole
in any roadside bar in any shitty town
sometimes I miss the scrapes on my knuckles,
but mostly I get lucky and they find me firstsometimes I am drunk, flinging empty bottles
at the dead, in a scrap yard roasted
by my mistakes, my bones sloshing around in my loose skin,
scrabbling dirt with frantic fingernails, burying cat bones
begging for a deal to sell my soul
just to prove I still have onebut mostly I am angry, kept awake by violent dreams that rip
their way out of me, snarling and spitting, feral, furious,
leaving gaping wounds that seep rage
and I hate the world without you, hate my world without you
and goddamnit
I hope I never see another pair of blue eyes as long as I liveunless they’re yours


